Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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