Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize