I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
it glows. i had to have it.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
