his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
