hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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