I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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