I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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