Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I can text with my tongue
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
