adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
only you would photoshop your dick
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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