he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
