I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
