Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
