It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize