I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Nicole vs. Life
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
