Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Barsexuality is the new black.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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