I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
