I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
