Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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