please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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