think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
