i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
