Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
