Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize