You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He passed out mid-signature
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Randomize
