spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
