we have officially lost it.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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