Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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