yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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