So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
