about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
