He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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