spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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