hell yes lets make some ravioli
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
