I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
