maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
