Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
