In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
