I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
