Cold hands, warm shart.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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