You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
