Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
