If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
