Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize