it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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