I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize