its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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