you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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