my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
