"it" just moved
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize