you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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