you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
