Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
