I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize