direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
