Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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