omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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