everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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