Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
