Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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