I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm always down for nudity.
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