i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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