Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
