I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
